It’s that time of year again. RABIES SHOTS FOR THE CATS.

[insert Creepy Organ Music]

*screams of horror*

more animals

I HATE this time of year. But our cats are outdoors cats and unfortunately so are the rabid foxes, raccoons, bats, and all the other blasted mange-infested critters of New York State. UGH.

It wouldn’t be so bad if my cats behaved themselves, like tame, good little kitties. Not a chance. They have been in that minivan before and they know what being in it entails: the 20-minute, teeth-gnashing, grueling trip down winding country roads to the vet.

FYI: that was ME doing the teeth-gnashing and grueling.

We have to take one cat at a time now. But the first year– I must have been absolutely crazed back then– we took the two cats and the dog together. I had to have all four kids with me just to control the stark-raving mad zoo whirling inside my minivan. I will never do that again. The dog puked, the cats defecated… And we didn’t have sturdy cat carriers back then. The cats were still small enough to fit into those cardboard pet carriers that you get from the pet store. One of the cats got out, but we managed to stuff him back in and clamp it shut.

The second year, I decided to take just the two cats. You’d think I’d have purchased a couple of fancy cat carriers by now, but I’m stupid like that. We had these large plastic bins with lids. I’d drilled a few air holes so the cats could breathe. That was a mistake. I probably should have let them pass out from lack of air, just for the trip, and then had the vet give them mouth-to-mouth at the clinic.

One of our cats, Fuzzy, didn’t like being in the bin, and he made his distaste very clear, all the way. But at least he stayed in the bin. Then again, having a team of two kids clamp firmly and strategically on the lid probably helped somewhat.

Our other cat, Milo, was not content to merely moan away his captivity. He got it into his feline pea-brain that he could squash his head through one of the air holes, and force his way through. Uh, Milo, you couldn’t even get a paw through that little drilled hole. His whiskers stabbed out of the hole and he growled threateningly. Next thing we know, the bin is rocking back and forth. The kids start hollering, “Mom! Mom! He’s moving the lid!” By the way, did I mention that I am barreling down country roads at 55 mph?

Out popped the cat and it was INSANE. The people in the car behind me must have wondered if Cheech and Chong had taken over our van. Cat hair flying, children screaming, and the van wobbling all over the road. Did I mention that Milo, for some odd reason, targeted ME for his plight? He landed on my shoulders (I still have little bitty scars to show for it) and merowled in this gutteral, frenzied scream. For a second, he looked possessed. When I flailed my arms and hollered (I didn’t think I hollered that loudly, but the kids said the cows on the side of the road ran away), the cat leaped onto the steering wheel and onto the dashboard. Like a little orange zephyr, Milo spun ’round and ’round in a circle across the top of the dashboard, as if remote-controlled by aliens circling the van. It was weird. He finally let out an eerie caterwauling, and squished as much of his body as he could into the corner of the windshield where it meets the dashboard.

I couldn’t stop the van, we were late for the vet anyhow, so I let the dang cat sit there for the rest of the ride. God knows how we managed to stuff him back into the bin to whisk him into the vet’s office. Like childbirth, the excruciating pain of the experience has been forgotten.

After enduring two consectutive years of rabies shots, New York State cats don’t need another shot for 3 years. That’s three years I don’t have to take the cats to the vet!!! Woooo! But… that luscious three-year span of euphoria has now passed. And we need to go again.

Uh, I hope my husband and the kids have a grand time. I’m staying home with the dog.

P.S. I’m not that mean. I finally did put a crowbar in my wallet and buy a cat carrier for the big event. Have yet to get the padlock for it, though…

I was surfing through Entrecards this morning, my mind wandering a little. As I dropped card after card, the thought struck me:

I am not a Posh Mom.

Remember 20 years ago, there was the SuperMom? That was the mom who worked a full-time job and tried to raise her own kids. Didn’t work out terribly well, so a popular new Mom took shape– the “Stay at Home Mom,” aka SAHM. This was the modern woman who chose to stay home to raise the kids. But now, even that’s not enough: now there is the “SuperMom SAHM.” We call her the Posh Mom. She’s the perfect SAHM– she looks a little like Barbie, maybe even dresses and talks like Barbie. She’s real, but there is this facade about her appearance, as if it’s a bit of an act. Who walks and talks and dresses like that?! But Posh Moms get invited to conferences. Posh Moms get interviewed by Other Posh Moms. Posh Moms seem to have allll the fun that we Non-Posh Moms don’t have. When Posh Moms go to soccer games, they don’t go to sweat and cheer for the team; they go to i-m-p-r-e-s-s.

Hm. It made me think. I think most moms are not posh. I think most moms think they want to be posh, because that is what is pushed on us as the perfect SAHM. It’s just like being “popular” in school, or always getting called first for volleyball. It’s an illusion, really. Funny how all the “top” moms– our examples of perfect motherhood, you see– look, talk, and dress similarly. But there’s an “air” about them that smells of manufacture. They can’t fool us– we girls all know that Posh Moms puke when they are sick just like we do; they yell at their kids just like we do. But for some reason, they want to deny it, or, weirdly enough, glorify it because it makes them appear like a “real” mom.

Posh Moms have Kathie Lee Gifford/Kelly Ripa hair- straight but layered and usually colored with blonde highlights. They have long fingernails and they paint them red or with a clear coating. They wear lustrous pink lipstick and their complexions shine from all the exfoliations and facials they have. But Non-Posh Moms have long, brown, plain hair that we often tie back so we can empty the compost bucket without it flopping into the decaying melon rinds. Non-Posh Moms bite their nails to keep them short so that they don’t fill up with dirt while digging for the potatoes. And Non-Posh Moms never wear lipstick, because it just cakes up on their wind-burned, chapped lips. Non-Posh Moms have three or four tubes of strawberry Chapstick… somewhere around the house…

Posh Moms wear spaghetti-strap t-shirts to show off their angular shoulders. Posh Moms not only own the “little black dress,” they actually wear it when they go out to fancy restaurants with their husbands. Posh Moms have clean, tidy homes with glistening hardwood floors and porcelain lamps on solid cherry end-tables. Posh Moms have lingerie; Non-Posh Moms have nightgowns. And we definitely do not have angular shoulders. Nor porcelain lamps– the kids might break them when they lay out their Matchbox set across the carpeted floor and on the used couch (that we got at a great deal for $30!). Posh Moms watch Regis & Kelly. Wanna-be Posh Moms watch Oprah. Non-Posh Moms watch DIY Network.

Most of all, Posh Moms LOVE to shop. It’s their main hobby. And they don’t go to stores, they go to “boutiques.” The Posh Mom’s status symbol is The Shopping Bag, it’s an accessory practically glued to her hands. The Posh Mom’s shopping bag is the square paper bag, with “earth-friendly” matching handles. And the bags are always in bright, shiny colors with tufts of tissue paper, to show off what great shoppers these Posh Moms are. We admire them because they are helping the economy.

Non-Posh Moms use the plastic WalMart shopping bag for ther shopping. And when we unpack them, we save the plastic bags to use as trash bucket liners and to carry extra zucchini to the neighbor’s house. Posh Moms have the fanciest strollers, the most fashionable shoes, and they buy the latest fashions for their kids. They usually have extra money around, and they spend it on either makeup, shoes, or a new vase. But Non-Posh Moms hate shopping- the traffic, the pushy shoppers, the noise, ugh. And if we get some extra money when Non-Posh Papa happens to get overtime, we can finally pay off that car transmission bill or buy crew socks for the kids. And when Non-Posh Moms are expecting, everyone knows. And well before the eighth month.

As I continued to think about this, I realized I was calling Non-Posh Moms something that they really aren’t. Non-Posh Moms are not “Non” posh. They’re real. Real Moms. That’s what we should be striving toward– being real and not going with the flow especially as the media defines us (that “flood of dissipation” that 1 Peter speaks of).

So if it means that I don’t get to paint my nails or wear fine clothes or go shopping all day, so be it. I’m happy right here, with my flannel shirt, potatoes, and puke. Well actually, not the puke. That I could definitely go posh with.

offended? see my disclaimer. :D

UPDATE: I put this in my comments section in response to a comment, but very few people read through all the comments, so I’m posting this here:

This was a post in jest, poking at the two extremes of motherhood, especially as these extreme images are foisted upon us by the media and fashionistas.

Just for the record **sigh** I am not against nice clothes, going out to dinner, wearing jewelry, getting manicures, hair-dos, The English Patient, soccer, Victoria Beckham, or shopping.

Is everyone happy now?

LOL.

I AM against political correctness, Barbie (die die die), phoniness, the Valley-Girl accent, and mimicking celebrities. And satin lining inside flannel shirts. I hate that.

It’s futile, putting clarification inside a comment box, because I’ve found that so few people read the comments. They just read the post, take it as they see it, and blast their own comment out. I confess that I do that a lot. But that’s why I have my own blog…

Here’s an update to yesterday’s post about Google’s Chrome browser. Read the first post to get you up to speed.

As of yesterday afternoon, Matt Cutts from Google is covering his butt is saying that there was an error when “copying and pasting” the terms for the EULA for Chrome. We didn’t mean to do it, he cries.

Alright, I’ve got another conspiracy theory misconception to dispel. After reading through the Chrome Terms of Service, some people are worried that Google is trying to assert rights on everything that you do on Chrome… I knew that Google didn’t want to assert rights on what people did using Google Chrome, so I asked the Chrome team and Google lawyers for their reaction or to clarify (probably several other people pinged them too). Here’s what I heard back from Rebecca Ward, the Senior Product Counsel for Google Chrome:

“In order to keep things simple for our users, we try to use the same set of legal terms (our Universal Terms of Service) for many of our products. Sometimes, as in the case of Google Chrome, this means that the legal terms for a specific product may include terms that don’t apply well to the use of that product. We are working quickly to remove language from Section 11 of the current Google Chrome terms of service. This change will apply retroactively to all users who have downloaded Google Chrome.”

Oh, HAHA. So we’re “conspiracy theorists,” huh, because WE don’t implicitly “trust” Google? OF COURSE Google would NEVER DO such a thing, even though it was a legally-binding contract! How can it be a conspiracy theory to take the EULA Terms of Service at face value as they were written? As I said in an Entrecards forum:

Whether or not Google’s pseudo-lawyers copied and pasted some “boilerplate” terms, it is considered a contract in a court of law. If you agree to the terms, you agree to the terms as they are. The “Oh I thought it meant THIS” doesn’t hold up under contractual law. So as it is– with these current TOS– Google retains the RIGHT to use, modify, publish, and distibute any creation of yours while you use this browser. If it were to come down to legal nitty-gritty: you are agreeing to these terms of service as they are, and you are contractually obligated to obey them, and Google retains the right to enforce them AS THEY EXIST RIGHT NOW.

Contracts and law don’t take into account what you “intend” to mean.

Matt Cutts did amend his blog post and apologized for being “snippy,” as he called it. And the company is changing the EULA.

But don’t you guys at Google have proofreaders? You know, READ and CHECK the terms of service that WE Little People are forced to uphold? And would you have ever checked on your “error” if We Little People had not made such a stink?

And I’ve still got to ask: WHY would Google use that kind of phrasing- the right to use, modify, publish, distribute the user’s copyrighted works royalty-free, without restraint, and forever and ever–  for ANYTHING? Or am i *just* a “conspiracy theorist” for questioning and challenging that holy dogma?

OK, so maybe Google doesn’t exactly OWN you if you download their new browser, Chrome. But get this, taken from their terms of service if you download the browser:

“By submitting, posting or displaying the content you give Google a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, and non-exclusive license to reproduce, adapt, modify, translate, publish, publicly perform, publicly display and distribute any content which you submit, post or display on or through, the services. This license is for the sole purpose of enabling Google to display, distribute and promote the services and may be revoked for certain services as defined in the additional terms of those services.”

This is what C|Net News writer Ina Freid, had to say about that:

Although you retain any copyrights to content you own and use in the browser, Google says it has a right to display some of your content, in conjunction with promoting its services.

That’s really over the top. So if you write in your blog, upload your Photoshop scrapbook images, or upload movies, you are essentially giving Google the free rein to use, reproduce, ADAPT, MODIFY, and DISTRIBUTE your creations to promote “the services”? For free??

I use Flickr free account, and I know that they can redistribute my photos that I upload, to a certain degree. But I am still in control of that somewhat– I can choose what not to upload, and what size to upload, and etc. And Flickr has that nice little “Creative Commons” license thing going. Google here is basically saying that ANYTHING you do in their browser gives them the right to modify it and use it, for free, for forever. And another thing: how do they know what you’re doing in the browser?

Poor Daisy the Curly Cat is waiting for her Mommie. That has got to be the most bored cat I’ve ever seen. I thought she could use some cheering up.

I saw this at Skeezix the cat’s site. Aren’t the kittens ADORABLE!?!? I am looking for a kitten to have in the house. Hm, I have been so caught up by how cute they are that I’ve forgotten how well they… um… break up fights. See for yourself.

NEVER shop when you’re hungry. Never surf cooking websites when you’re hungry, either. I am now STARVING! And what’s worse– I’ve been surfing for recipes- found some incredible seafood recipes– and there’s not a sliver of seafood in the house. AGONY, I tell you!

I just love domestic seafood. Skip that stuff from China and Italy (never liked octopus anyway *shudder*). I love good ol’ Atlantic salmon and Texas “jumbo” shrimp. Mmmmm. I prefer domestic seafood for it’s cleanliness, sustainability, and that it’s the patriotic thing to do. :) Best yet, there’s a huge cook off contest coming up, in Louisiana. The winners will be announced in November, but the folks at the Great American Seafood Cook-Off are giving us lowly eaters the chance to choose a winner, and someone could win a trip to New Orleans. The prize package includes two Southwest Airline round-trip tickets, hotel accommodations, and a culinary seafood experience that would make even the ocean-dwellers drool! I decided to enter– I chose Texan Chef Mark Holley’s Texas Gulf Shrimp. I LOOOOOVE shrimp, especially jumbo shrimp, where you get more shrimpy goodness per bite than the other, well, shrimped shrimp. Check out his recipe yourself; doesn’t it look scrumptiously shrimpy? Vote for your favorite recipe, you might just win the trip! There are five contenders for the Seafood Cook-Off’s chef’s throne; all recipes look really good. It was actually tough to choose from them. And it’s kind of odd that all the contestants are men! That doesn’t bother me as much, just as long as we women get to eat it. :)

Entering the contest can’t hurt! (You have to enter your name, email, and zip code). And the recipes are GREAT! So what have you got to lose? Nothing. But you have everything to gain. :) Enjoi!

I saw this at AmyOops. It took about 2 seconds for it to register in my brain, and then: Bwahahahahah!

I used to play Minesweeper all the time (back when I used to have free time). I managed to make some good records– 11 seconds for the smallest game! Don’t ask me to try it now, I’d probably keel over from the strain.

Photo courtesy of Army Toolbag.

YIKES! I’ve been getting emails from some helpful friends that this site has been intermittently unavailable! Some people cannot get in to the site. :(

I need help! I don’t know what’s going on and I need to figure this out. Obviously, if you are reading this post, then you’re in. Would you be willing to leave a very short comment telling me that you can see this blog? It would help me so very much.

THANKS!

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SECOND UPDATE: People are IN!!! Someone at the Wordpress forum suggested that when Lux was “caught in the crossfire” of my web host’s DNS collapse, Lux’s ISP cached the old/bad DNS address for this blog. He said it sometimes takes a few days for the ISP to reset and clear the old cache. That is probably what happened. I tell ya, I have the WEIRDEST problems, ever! I’m hoping that some of the other folks who had these problems are soon able to access this site now.

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UPDATE: I can’t tell you guys how moved I am by your help. Thank you thank you thank you for your comments. For those of you who asked for more information, here’s the nitty-gritty of what’s happening.

It’s a long story, but the problem began when I tried to update the Akismet plugin. There was a bug in that plugin (2.1.7 version). At that same time, my web host had a DNS failure, and my blog went down for a few hours. And at that same time, Luxor the White Cat was trying to post a comment. When he hit “submit,” all he got was a blank screen. I do not know if these three things are related, or if everything is one big coincidence, and that’s half the problem!

So… the DNS problem was resolved. Akismet fixed their bug and I updated again (to 2.1.8), but poor Luxor has been completely barred from the blog. All he gets is a white blank screen. This has been going on for days. He has cleared his cache, tried different browsers on different computers, etc. Nothing. The only thing I can think of is that my web host blocks his ISP or his ISP blocks my site, or Akismet is blocking him. I have NO IDEA and it’s getting frustrating after a few days. If you are a geek and you have any suggestions, I’d appreciate it. I threw this all out at the Wordpress.org forums, but no one has touched it.

Remember that Cascade dishwashing detergent I blogged about? Someone gave me some free Cascade, but I don’t have a dishwasher. That didn’t stop me from graciously accepting the Cascade, of course. :D So my daughters and I have been testing it out on other things. It is very versatile stuff.

For one, we found out that, if used as a laundry pre-treatment liquid, it removes stains from clothing. Then, I read that if you burn your cooking pan, just pour in a little Cascade gel with some baking soda and hot water and let it sit for a while. And then there was the day that we bought a new ceramic cooking pan (for lasagna) from WalMart– and I HATE it when the stores put all those nasty stickers and gorilla glue on the cookware, all to hold a sticker or paper?? We poured a little Cascade with water and let the pan sit– and voila! The gummy stuff came right off!

Yesterday, we ran out of Ajax scouring powder for our tub. I have to buy the gentle powder, because the tub is fiberglass and easily scratched. However, the tub is very old, and collects soap scum like molasses collects flies. It is a real chore to scrub that tub out, ugh. Well, we ran out of Ajax, right? My daughter got the bright idea to squirt a little Cascade gel in the tub. Amazing! It took the soap scum off! On the tough spots, she let it sit for a few minutes, and was able to buff it off. The tub is sparkling clean!

So I am loving the Cascade. Maybe someday we’ll get a dishwasher and try it out on actual dishes, lol! But for now, we’re experimenting with all sorts of things and trying to be as creative as possible (skipping things like horse supplies and animal shampoo, of course!). If you have any other ideas or requests about what else we should test it on, let us know.

Well, here’s a very unusual cognitive test I just took! I found it here; it’s done by the Cognitive Drug Research group. From what I could see, the quiz has nothing to do with drugs, unless they are testing my coffee-induced, caffeine-cognitivity, lol. I took three brief tests, and every one of them was basically testing my ability to click a button when I recognized an image or concept. It says that speed and accuracy are tested. Well, here’s my score, which surprised me:

Woohoo! An 18-year old brain! :-p Big deal. I’d rather have a 40-year old brain and an 18-year old body. Well, I can take comfort in that I can still cart around my own Briggs and Riley without a cane, at any rate. :-p