What ever happened to doing something right because it was, well, right?
A few years ago A long, long time ago, I saw a Sesame Street television show that had Elmo and a friend fighting over a toy. One of the “humans” (don’t remember her name) entered the scene and encouraged the two bickererers to share because sharing makes you “feel good inside.” What the h@%&*????? What kind of la-la land was this TV show promoting?! Sharing makes you feel like crap! Who wants to share? The truth should have been told- we should share because it is the right thing to do, because sometimes our selfish needs are nasty and destructive to others. My kids have never seen a Sesame Street show, and that’s why, right there.
It is with the same “what the?!” reaction that I read a news article from my local online news source, which proclaimed, “Stay-at-home moms: Benefits outweigh sacrifices, local mothers say.”
Benefits to whom outweigh sacrifices to whom?
The story goes on about how wonderful staying at home is- how wonderful it is for the mothers, that is. What drivel and rot.
The choice for Streeter, Downie and Bayly to stay at home with their children is a decision that they do not regret _ stating that the positives far outweigh the negative.
“The unpredictability of what will happen each day is one of the best parts of being a stay-at-home mom” Bayly said. “Today, for example, I built sand castles all morning.”
Sand castles. Big whoop.
Don’t get me wrong, staying at home with the kids has it blessings, sure. But moms, why do we really stay at home? So we can build sand castles and wipe snot all day? No! We stay at home for the sake of others, not ourselves- for, namely, our children. Pardon me while I rant, but I hate stories that propagandize such drivel, as if mothers need to be spoon-fed the glories of incessant diaper-changing and play dates.
Staying at home is very, very hard work and it’s a rather thankless job. Few men do it and fewer women are doing it, and opt to work outside the home. Staying at home, raising children and managing the household, is a heck of a lot harder than playing with the kids all day and cooking a meal or two. I very much dislike these stories that make husbandry sound like a merry-go-round of play all day. And I dislike it even more that society sneers on SAHM moms; if anything, society should be kissing our unpedicured, peanut-butter-and-jelly-stained feet, because, as Phyllis Schlafly once said, we SAHM mothers should be applauded for raising responsible citizens who will grow up to work hard to contribute to a healthy society and to the social security system.
So is it too difficult to admit that we moms sacrifice to stay home for the sake of someone else? Is there some kind of stigma to admit that the personal benefits, while satisfying, are second-place to the welfare and care of children? I’d like to see a news story that highlights this, but I have yet to see one. All I see are the “Sharing is Fun” stories. :-p
Life is never dull, and exciting things just seem to always happen to me... why me... when I'm not running around the house fixing things, I'm a freelance writer for national media outlets like USAToday.com, Salon.com, and others. I've even been interviewed by TIME and The Wall Street Journal about blogging. Can you believe it?! Here is where I express my zany, creative, motherly side. 
May 16, 2008 at 1:56 pm
ROFL!!! YOU GO, GO, GO!!
Love This!!
Can I snippet a portion on my blog and link to you from it?! I HAVE to share this!
Thanks,
Shelly M.
The SAHMom With Brownies
May 16, 2008 at 2:04 pm
lol. well, glad you enjoyed it, haha! oh sure, go ahead and copy & paste. I do it all the time. 😉
May 16, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Wow, that was great!
May 16, 2008 at 3:11 pm
hooray! very well said!
May 17, 2008 at 12:13 am
Oh I totally agree with everything you’ve said here. And yeah, being a SAHM isn’t exactly making sandcastles and baking cupcakes all day! A lot of it is drudgery and thankless - but why do we do it? Because we love our families and it’s a good feeling at the end of the day to know you’ve taken care of your home and your family.
May 17, 2008 at 9:58 am
🙂
May 17, 2008 at 4:48 pm
My husband stayed at home for six years. The other stay at home mothers really just ignored him. One stay at home mom asked why my husband made me work, while he did nothing at home all day”.
The main reason men do not stay at home, it society considers them lazy.
The only reason he went back to work, was my job allowed me to work from home so someone would be here when the kids got home from school. The kids are older now and do not need as much from us. The second reason was he needed grown-up interaction.
Outside of saying men don’t do it because it’s hard, you had some good points.
May 17, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Interesting that all good actions have to be reduced to something that benefits the person doing them. As you say, we often need to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not because it ‘feels good’.
May 17, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Hello Rodney. It’s nice to get a comment from a guy. 🙂
Yes, our global culture is very much this way. You see, then there are no “values” or “morals” where God might interfere. The thinking that, for example, sharing “feels good” comes from a humanistic viewpoint; that people, if given “enlightenment,” will choose to do what is in them (goodness) without any guidance from an “outside” value such as morality or “doing what’s right.” It’s a la-la land kind of mentality, and clashes with reality, and with truth. But it’s so seductive that such thinking creeps in.
May 18, 2008 at 11:32 pm
First, did you know that the old Sesame Street episodes are being released on dvd with a warning that they are not suitable for children today? There’s a number of reasons, and I don’t know if that particular sketch would be done differently these days or not.
Secondly, I couldn’t agree with you more. And sandcastles?!? That poor woman needs to read a couple of my recent posts to see what lies ahead (sorry about the shameless self-promotion, but I’ve had a particularly crazy week).
May 19, 2008 at 5:36 am
I am not a mom (yet) but I do like staying at home and working from home. When I do become a mom, I shall be a SAHM BUT that doesn’t mean that one cannot work and be productive career-wise, does it?
Maybe I am just weird like that (wanting to stay home) but I do see why the article mentioned in this post got many people’s goats…
June 27, 2008 at 9:15 am
Sandcastles? Hah! And yes, why the simplistic presentation of why the choice to stay at home is made? I hope most people manage to have some fun in their days, but pretty much no one is really choosing a job/occupation of any kind based on only having a fun time.